


Bring me a dream

by babydragon7



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: M/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27269911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydragon7/pseuds/babydragon7
Summary: Napoleon dreams of the future. It's mad.
Relationships: Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Bring me a dream

Ilya is certain something is wrong. Not with their predicament, it is nothing unusual. Normal for them at least. Today, like it had happened before and will certainly happen again, Ilya and Napoleon have been captured and shoved in some sort of storage. At least it is relatively clean. The thugs did not even beat them that hard; Ilya has just a slight abrasion and Napoleon has got a black eye, nothing to write to Waverly about.

‘Kind of suits him even’, Ilya thinks. ‘The shiner makes the eyes appear so much bluer’.

No, the problem is with Napoleon himself, the shifty way he has been for the last couple of days, avoiding looking directly at Ilya. Now he also stares in the corner and keeps silent.

“Sure hope Gaby picks us up soon enough, I want to try that plum pie today”, Ilya says to start a conversation, but his thoughts turn immediately to the pie in question, the one Napoleon has made in the morning. Oh, the pie. Its buttery crust with a layer of plums saturated with cognac, spiced with cinnamon. Ilya swallows hungrily; his mouth flooding with saliva and Napoleon gives a short laugh.

“Oh, Peril, you do have just one thing on your mind”, he says fondly and Ilya smiles. Cowboy can occasionally be full of shit, but the way he cooks is epic.

“Your fault. You know, Cowboy, you’ll make some girl very happy one day”, Ilya jokes.

Napoleon pales, then colors, and turns away from Ilya again, staring at a very entertaining cobweb.

Ilya is not very patient on a normal day and now he barely restrains himself from shaking Napoleon couple of times.

“Spill it, Cowboy. What is wrong with you?”

“I…” Napoleon starts, when abruptly finishes with “Don’t have to tell you anything. It’s private and not job related”. He still avoids direct eye contact.

Ilya decides to go with an element of surprise.

“Please, partner” he says and that startles Napoleon and kicks him out of his stupor.

“Oh, you’re cunning. Ok, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise me not to overreact”.

“I promise”, Ilya agrees easily. They still have half an hour at least until Gaby arrives and more than that to the promise of the pie.

“I’ve been having some strange dreams lately”, Napoleon says uncomfortably. “I… how to put it without sounding mad. It’s about future”.

Ilya wants to laugh, but Napoleon sounds solemn and sad, so he lets him go on.

“So in those dreams you and I… ah… we are partners. In… ah… more ways that now”.

Ilya has absolutely no idea what that means.

“We are married and…”

“What?!”

“You promised not to overreact”, Napoleon chastises. “Lately I have dreams that you and I live together. We have a house in Canada, tiny cordless phones and a huge TV. We sleep in the same bed and have rings on our fingers. Also we are quite old, in our sixties, maybe older”.

“Why do we live in Canada? Ilya asks incredulously.

“Well, USSR no longer exists apparently…”

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know, I think the Cold War is over and Russia now attempts democracy although not successfully. No idea how that has happened. I just have glimpses of this future. Mostly it’s just us in those dreams, doing mundane things, like going shopping and…”

“Wait, wait, wait. They are dreams. Dumb stuff”.

“Yes”, Napoleon sounds weary. “They just feel so real. And I keep seeing pretty much the same things over and over, and I… ”.

‘Dreams are dreams. Stupid dreams. USSR no longer exists! Who would ever believe that?’ Ilya thinks.

The problem is Napoleon’s reaction. What made him linger on those – stupid – visions, what made him avoid even looking at Ilya?

He says as much. Napoleon sighs.

“I don’t think the dreams are some sort of a prophecy, no. But what bothers me… it’s you I’m seeing myself growing old with”.

That hurts for some reason. “Of course”, Ilya says. “Because I’m your mortal enemy”.

“Of course not!” Napoleon bristles. “It’s because you’re a man. And I’ve never… been attracted to a man, never in my life”.

That makes a certain sense.

Napoleon is clearly waiting for a similar statement and when he gets none he looks at Ilya incredulously. Ilya gives a tiny shrug.

“I was assigned to Guy Burgess several years ago”.

“God, really?”

“I was a part of the team that provided for him. Ties, fresh press from London, anything. And I’m only telling you because he’s dead now”.

“So you and Burgess…”

Ilya colors slightly. “Nothing happened. I just thought he was… charming. He openly had a male lover, could you believe that privilege. In USSR of all places. And I looked at him and I could… see the appeal I guess”.

Napoleon seems to absorb that, and then he gives a tiny smile.

“You know, Peril, if I were attracted to mеn, of course I would be attracted to you. You save my life, appreciate my cooking, and you are blond. So yeah. But you’d probably go for Waverly, right, seeing he is British and all that”.

Ilya snorts. “No way. He is too sleazy. Plus, Gaby told me he has a small castle”.

“So. It makes him even more of a dream”.

“Not to me. Can you imagine keeping a track of all those entry points?”

Gaby finds them laughing somewhat hysterically, holding on to each other, both with tears of mirth in their eyes. ‘Boys’, she thinks fondly.

XXX

“Huh”, Ilya says eloquently in 1991.

“Yeah”, Napoleon cannot take his eyes from the news as well. “But I think it’s been clear for a couple of years that USSR is heading towards its demise”.

“Maybe I can finally visit Moscow again. I have to say from the practical point of view, your prediction of cordless phones was much better. I have high hopes for our Motorola stocks”.

Napoleon just smiles.

Ilya knows that Napoleon keeps couple of rings in his sock drawer. ‘It may still take some time for us to put them on’, Ilya thinks.

Still it seems the world is changing and is rapidly on the track to make even the wildest dreams from the Sixties to come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Guy Burgess was a member of Cambridge Five, a British diplomat and Soviet agent. He spend the last years of his life in Soviet Union. The great book about him by Andrew Lownie is titled "Stalin’s Englishman: The Lives of Guy Burgess".


End file.
